It's like a merry-go-round!

I didn't think I'd be doing this again. Blogging, I mean.

You know how you look at old journals and cringe? Well, that's kind of how I feel when I look back at my blog when I was in the U.K. And I did it in a public forum! There is nothing overly embarrassing on it, but it is just so self indulgent.

So why have I decided to blog again? Why do I think people will care enough to read this, and perhaps be slightly impressed?

I don't.

I described this to my husband last night as an exercise in public accountability and humility. I am expecting to fail in public, if I am honest! So, what am I going to fail at?

This.


I am chosing to mess my life up. I want to read '7' and be changed. I want to read this, do this, and change the world.

Why? Not because of some emotional high (which is actually very good for me because I usually make the most well-meaning, life-altering decisions in the height of emotion, often with little-to-no follow through). I just don't have anywhere to hide anymore. Ignorance is not bliss.

By choosing everyday to be aware, to mess up my life intentionally, I am hoping to feel it eventually. I want to see the plight of assylum seekers & bawl my eyes out. I want to see malnourished kids in those World Vision posters and bawl my eyes out. I want to feel it like God does.

Isaiah proclaims in chapter 61 (not that he had chapters back then):

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me  to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise  instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.  

Strangers will shepherd your flocks; foreigners will work your fields and vineyards. And you will be called priests of the Lord, you will be named ministers of our God. You will feed on the wealth of nations, and in their riches you will boast. 

Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.

“For I, the Lord, love justice; I hate robbery and wrongdoing. In my faithfulness I will reward my people and make an everlasting covenant with them. Their descendants will be known among the nations and their offspring among the peoples. All who see them will acknowledge that they are a people the Lord has blessed.”

I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. 

For as the soil makes the sprout come up and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign Lord will make righteousness and praise spring up before all nations.

Jesus also quoted this in Luke 4, so it can't be "Old Testament and irrelevant". This says to me that it's my job to feel this. It's my job to choose this and respond.

This is as far as I have come where my thoughts start to trail off in a dot dot dot. I intend on blogging my '7' journey on here, pretty much so I feel I have a sense of accountability!

Here goes nothing! (Or everything!)